February 5, 2022: Parenting is Profitable

I continue to be baffled by people who pay money to listen to, read etc “experts” on homeschooling, educating and/or parenting whose children turned out badly.

I won’t ever go to a personal trainer who is morbidly obese.

If someone raised children who are not following the Lord, who flamed out spectacularly, who never reached their ability to learn, teaching I might be interested in from them would only be confession of parenting failures to avoid.

Parenting is profitable! You cannot control your children, but you absolutely can provide the environment where your children will flourish. You cannot make them follow Christ, but you can impart your values. You cannot prevent a prodigal fully, but you can provide a home they long for relationally when they tire of the pig slop.

I know that some people I greatly respect have lost sleep over their kids surprising turns. I know we can’t plan for every eventuality, and sometimes unexpected trauma has a massive impact on a child. I also know that if you are asking people to listen to your expertise in marriage, you should have a healthy one. If you want people to listen to you as an educator, your kids should have learned a lot from you.

I suspect that many of the idols of our age are broken because they make us more comfortable in our failings. If the pastor cannot control his appetites, I do not feel as guilty about my besetting sin. If my go to writer on education has kids who couldn’t get a scholarship to college, maybe I am doing a better job than I thought with educating my kids. If my favorite marriage conference speaker is divorced, at least I am only on my first marriage.

Find grace in your redeemer, not in the messiness of others. Seek wisdom from the wise. Seek to learn from those who clearly acquired a skill or ability that you see as worthwhile. Examine the fruit of the lives of those who are older than you, and realize that we all grow in age but growing in wisdom and understanding is not guaranteed. Recognize that few people “think of themselves with sober judgment” though we are commanded to, and that many hold forth on topics their own track record should silence them about.