June 21, 2022: Power of Tone

Graham Gunden wrote today:

"Some recent thoughts about tone.

In Titus 3:2 Paul tells Titus to "show perfect courtesy toward all people." We must never be unnecessarily rude or crass or vulgar in our speech or in our treatment of others. We should be concerned about honoring the people we are speaking to.

However, in this very same epistle, Paul approvingly quotes a poet who says that “Cretans are always liars, evil beasts, lazy gluttons.” He goes on to say, "This testimony is true."

Is Paul hypocritical in his instructions to Titus? I don't think so. Paul had a proper understanding of courteousness, winsomeness, and tone; our contemporaries do not.

Sometimes the harsh, stark, and striking words are the appropriate words. Beating around the bush with soft words is not always the right move and it is certainly not a moral imperative.

We have to look to Paul's example and learn to not be unnecessarily caustic and harsh, but at the same time be willing to use strong and sometimes even insulting language, in truth and in love.

Never let anyone guilt you into backing down from the truth because of tone. And never discount a person's message because their "tone" isn't just right."

I agree with what Graham shared here.

I sense fear of men from most of the tone police. I also see fear as preventing them from speaking the truth boldly. I see plenty of "did God really say?" even from preachers who seem not to know where that question comes from, but I rarely see people who are too bold, too zealous, and too forceful in their speech.

Part of living in an era dominated by men without chests (as C.S. Lewis described in "The Abolition of Man") is that emasculated men are constantly whining about the tone of men who hold honor and justice as much higher concerns than the 11th commandment to "be nice" that is not found in Scripture.

The most remarkable thing is that the speech of those seeking to silence the speech of those they disagree (and tone policing is usually extremely political and shrilly intolerant of those deemed intolerant) is delivered in sinful ways like gossip and passive-aggressiveness that is directly related to their fear and dysfunction.

Only the first verse of Matthew 7 spoken by Jesus is (mis)used by eisegetes who perhaps leave out what follows because of its tone...

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

6 “Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.